Life Nuggets from Pompa: Harboring Hate.

The other day I was asking my grandfather, or Pompa as he is affectionately known in my family, if he was coming home for dinner. He had some errands to run and sometimes his errands keep him out for days (he’s old and moves slowly, but the dude can go).

I was planning to cook some sinigang, but only if he was coming home, to which he replied, “Oh. Marlyn told me she was also cooking sinigang.” That’s his wife. Kind of. Their marriage wasn’t peaceful which is why he now lives with us, but he still visits her apartment sometimes…mostly to see their dog.

I rolled my eyes.

When I turned to walk out of his room, he said, “Come here. I need to tell you something. One of the most important things you need to know in life.”

Intrigued, I walked back in, followed by my one year old. “You listen, too!”

Then he said,

I’m sure he mentioned this because of my aforementioned eye roll at the mention of his wife’s existence. And for clarification: I don’t hate the woman. I just don’t understand her or agree with her.

Back to this little nugget of life advice. This wasn’t news to me, but it was a good reminder.

There are some seriously misguided (misinformed or maladjusted) people in the world, and chances are you’ve run across one or two in your life, so far.

I’m not preaching some hippie bullshit about how forgiving them for whatever will help you heal. I’m saying that hate takes a lot of energy that could be better used elsewhere. Especially for a working, schooling, wifing, have-a-finger-in-everything mom like me. If you wrong me, I literally don’t have time to obsess about why. I don’t have the luxury to sit around moping. Sure, it might bother me for a split second, but life goes on. Life must go on.

That’s not to say that letting go doesn’t help you heal. For sure it does, especially if you’ve been cut deep. But the real benefit of letting go of hatred and negativity toward others is that you A) have energy for something else and B) don’t have a black cloud above your head threatening rain and thunder. In my experience, people harboring ill feelings toward others generally have a bad attitude about almost everything.

So what if Sally didn’t invite you to her 1st grade pool party? Or if Jackson still owes your $20 from 2 years ago that he swore was for food, but saw him post on Instagram the weed he just got 15 minutes after hopping out of your car? Or if your best friend suddenly wasn’t your friend anymore because of something you’re still slightly unaware of after 4 years? (Ok, the last one would still bother me, but I wouldn’t be too stuck on it.)

The point is, feel it then let it go. Especially if there’s nothing you can do to fix it or get resolve.

Thanks for the reminder, Pompa.

Keto Week 8 | 2 Weeks Later…

I’m still on that struggle bus from my last post. Despite taking steps to recover myself, I let myself shut down completely for the last 2 weeks, and I honestly think that it has been beneficial for me as a writer, as an employee, as a wife, and as a mother.

Trying to get myself back in the swing of things in terms of writing, posting, and being kind to myself, my soul, and my body.

Enter: My diet.

I’m in week 11 right now. I skipped my week 10 update because I was on vacation with my family, but it wouldn’t have gone well, anyway. Truth be told, week 8 Kristen wouldn’t know who weeks 9-11 Kristen even is… but I’m here, my mind a little bit clearer, and my drive a little bit stronger. Back to it.

New short term goal: lose 30 lbs by the end of the year. It’s a tall order for my giving-up-binge-eating-no-will-power self, but I’m armed with the facts: I know what works for my body, not just for weight loss, but for overall health including mental clarity and emotional stability (which is arguably more important that the size of my pants).

I’ll be back to updating regularly, because it really does keep me accountable.

Here is my recap from week 8:

Burnout: 5 Steps I’m Taking To Recover

Life is overwhelming to say the least.

I’m someone who likes to keep herself busy, whether it’s work, school, spending time with family, hobbies, or passions (like this blog). And I’m usually really good at juggling it all, but recently I have been hit with what can only be described as burnout.

I’ve sat at my desk, just staring at the computer screen, not remembering — not wanting to shuffle through the pile of work in front of me. I’ve sat on the couch, thinking about deadlines for homework, doing nothing to get assignments closer to completion.

Life is ever-changing, and right now our lives are potentially about to shift in a major way… And of course I’ve taken it upon myself to take care of everything. Making the plans, doing the research, taking on the worry.

It’s all started to get too heavy. I’m worn.

I have had little interest in doing things that benefit my career, academics, and soul. Exhausted is not close to what my heart has been feeling.

So I’m taking a few steps to bring myself back to life, before I get too far gone.

This is the hardest one. I’m wired and I’m a born night owl. But it’s SO IMPORTANT to get  good rest. Getting adequate sleep helps level out that pesky stress hormone, cortisol, which is responsible for the body’s responses to stress, like increased heart rate. Sleep also promotes healing around the body, and (as a mom on a weight loss mission) I have found that I have more weight loss success when I’m sleeping well.

To help me get a better night’s sleep, I have been taking a magnesium supplement in the evening, which generally puts me to sleep in about 30-45 minutes. That’s a huge improvement on the usual 2 or so hours it usually takes.

I think I will also stop all electronics use 30-45 minutes before bed, to allow my mind to wind down and lessen the effects of blue light.

In the midst of taking on everything and anything, I tend to shove things away and out of sight — to be dealt with later or not at all. I’ve always valued honesty from others. I’m a huge supporter of talking out your issues in a civilized and open-minded manner, except when it comes to my own feelings. I’ve been letting things build up inside of me, and it’s just not healthy.

So I’ve tasked myself with being more open about what I’m really feeling, and trying to voice it in a calm and understandable tone. My tone is definitely something I need to keep in check, because I’m naturally snappy, especially when I feel like the world is on my shoulders.

I’m also making an effort to communicate with friends more. I’ve always avoided talking to others about the heavier things in life because I don’t want to be a burden, but I want to build strong and dependable relationships.

Yes. This is a cheesy one, but I really feel that it’s helping me keep a brighter outlook on life and our impending changes.

Fake it ’til you make it, right?!

But seriously, I’m really starting to believe what I tell myself. That’s a big thing for someone with a lot of insecurities.

I believe in my skills and abilities.

I am worthy of happiness and living in abundance.

My strength is greater than my struggle.

I am proud of myself and all I have accomplished.

This is a huge one for me. Yes, I take time away to work. I have a year left of school which is turning out to be the most assignment intensive year and I do things for the family business…but I don’t really take time away for me, aside from the odd blog post or article I take on — and I usually tackle these in stolen 5-10 minute increments over the course of a few days (or even weeks).

So I am making it a point to take at least a solid one hour block of time, one to two times a week, to do something for myself. Whether it’s writing an article, catching up on a TV show, taking a bath, reading a book, or whatever…I’m making time for it.

I’ve been working on this one for years. What good does it do you to hold onto negativity? It affects you mentally, emotionally, and sometimes physically. So, after I’ve enacted step #2, once I’ve said my piece, I will let it go. Especially if there is nothing that I can directly do to change the situation.

A bonus tip:

Take time to appreciate the little things, like days on the beach with your family or slow dancing in your bedroom with your partner. This can seriously put some good perspective into anything.

I’ve gradually been making a shift toward optimism over the last week or so (even though I’ve generally always been more optimistic than most), and I have to say that it’s really helping my outlook on myself and our lives. For the planner that I am, I am becoming more open to unknown possibilities and embracing drastic change. I am climbing out of the slump that I’ve called home for the last month, and am excited to see how these steps can further benefit me and my family overall.

Keto Week 6 |#TeamNoCheats

The weekend leading into week 6 was spent in Las Vegas, and if you know anything about Vegas, you’ll know that there is so much good food there. Like, my husband and I always make the joke that we travel just to eat…and that could not be more true when a trip to Vegas is involved. The only thing that kept me from going completely off the rails is the fact that I was there for work, so I was super busy for most of the days.

On the last night of the festival I was working, husband and I had a quick and easy carb heavy meal, so we could pack everything up and be ready to leave in the morning. One meal. I allowed myself the one meal, and hopped right back on track the next morning. At least…I tried. I hit Dunkin’ Donuts before we left, and I asked for an unsweetened hazelnut iced coffee. I proceeded to add my own sweetener and mct oil, but when I took that first sip, I knew it tasted too good to be sweetened by my own liquid stevia! It also tasted a lot differently than a previous unsweetened iced coffee I had earlier in the weekend.  But I drank it because…$4-5 for coffee?! I’m not about wasting my money! That chick did me dirty, y’all.

On the way home I started devising a plan. I was going to really commit and do a 30 day challenge, and join #TeamNoCheats.

I survived the first weekend of the challenge (weekends are the hardest) and am currently on day 9.

What I didn’t account for, though, is my anniversary tomorrow.
We go to the same restaurant to celebrate, and a major factor in that has been the dessert. We love bread pudding, and this place has some of the best we’ve tasted. I’m debating whether or not I’m going to break my reset and partake in that tradition or stick to my guns. Verdict’s still out on that one.

That being said, I’ve been compiling short full day of eating/what I eat in a day videos on my YouTube to keep me honest and on track. It’s also fun to do a little editing at the end of my day.

As far as my weigh in goes, I lost 0.4 lbs, which is still a victory for me! Especially because I upped my overall calorie intake over the last week and a half. My biggest victory I see is the change in my body! My sad back is almost no more, which is exciting! (I share that pic in my video). Over the last month I’ve also lost 4.5 inches around my body. And more people are starting to comment about how I look like I’m losing weight! [Everyone loves a little ego boost, ey?!]

If you care to watch me talk about it, here it is!

Popsicles and Baby Bumps

I may be on a low carb/sugar free diet, but I know a good popsicle when I see one (or read the recipe to one…)!

And the great thing about making your own popsicles is that it is almost effortless.
Just throw everything into your blender, puree, and freeze in molds. SO. EASY.

Here are some healthy and fresh alternatives to the options the ice cream man carries.
Some might even help a pregnant mama stave off morning sickness and pack in some extra vitamins and nutrients!

25 Best Popsicle Recipes For Pregnant Women This Summer

Pops

Keto Week 5 | A Change of Plans

It’s not a weigh in week, but I did weigh myself. 0 lbs lost, but 0 lbs gained.

I’m suspecting that might be caused by a certain womanly visitor, though, so I’m not too bothered by it.

I have been working on tweaking my macros just a little bit after watching some Keto Savage videos. At the very least, I have been working hard to reach my calorie goals. I generally only eat 2 meals a day, and most days I have a hard time eating enough food. I know, you should eat when you’re hungry, but there are some days when I don’t even hit 1000 calories. I’m all about eating at a deficit, but that’s just plain malnutrition and insanity. I’ve been lowering my protein and upping my fats just a little bit, and so far it’s been okay. I have gotten well over my previous goal of 1200 cal/day, and am hitting between 1400-1600, with more fats.

All that aside, my husband and I are officially trying to conceive baby #2! We had planned to start trying in April, but had to clear up some health issues before we felt comfortable doing so.

I found the low carb diet during my first time trying to conceive. I researched so many things to help our odds, especially after having multiple miscarriages, and this was one of those suggestions. More healthy fats in the diet, less sugar. It makes sense.

My weight loss journey is absolutely continuing throughout the process. The more I lose, the more it helps our chances! So I’m not exactly changing the plan…more so just adding a new component to it.

I’m excited for the possibilities the future holds for our family right now! It seems like everything is falling into place 🙂

Here’s a word spew recap of this post, if you’re interested:

Part Of My Mom Philosophy

It’s hard to find your mom groove, sometimes.
There’s so much judgement around how you choose to parent your children.

If I’m being totally honest, I thought I’d be much different as a mom than I am turning out to be. I’m not as overbearing, over protective, or overly cautious. I’m huge on trial and error, and letting my son try to work things out for himself (as much as a one year old can, anyway).

When I came across this topic on my BG editor’s topic list, I knew I had to write the article. It’s pretty representative of who I am as a mom. YES, there still are times when I make decisions to the contrary, but for the most part, I’m a ‘who cares’ mama, and a damn proud one, too.

Are you part of the ‘who cares’ mom tribe, too??

20 Signs Of A ‘Who Cares’ Mama

Who Cares