The last time I remember being “small” was probably about the second grade. After that, all of my memories star a chubby or overweight me. There were times when I struggled with it, like in primary school when I misplaced my school only uniform at after school care, and the office had to loan me an almost too small, definitely too short one. Or in middle school when a girl (who was larger than I was, mind you) was making fun of me during dance class saying things like, “Wow. I didn’t think you could jump that high.” Or when my high school (and college) boyfriend pointed out my every flaw and fault. Or when my mother felt the need to continuously comment on my weight and tell me I should stop eating certain things (side note: my mom is amazing. She never meant it maliciously).
As an adult, I have been a lot more comfortable in my body as it is, extra pounds and all, but I would be lying if I said I don’t think like would be better if weighed less. Now, as a mother, my greatest concern with my weight is my health. I want to be healthy and fit(ish) so I can keep up with my toddler’s never ending energy supply. I want to take him to the park and play soccer with him. Or at the very least, I want to not feel completely deplete of my energy when I get home from work, and he still wants to play before or after dinner.
When my husband and I were trying to conceive the first time (our son), we were having a bit of a hard time. Me, being the researcher that I am, hopped on Google looking for ways to boost my fertility and increase our odds of having a successful pregnancy — we had suffered 2 miscarriages at this point. That’s when I found information regarding low carb diets, and how many fertility doctors suggest a low carb diet to their patients. Naturally, I was intrigued. I didn’t find too much hard evidence supporting low carb and fertility, but the information I was finding was amazing. The more I read about or watched videos about maintaining a low carb diet, the more it started to make sense to me for life in general. I was hooked on obtaining information.
In the midst of all my research, we finally got pregnant, and stayed pregnant. I tried to practice a lower carb diet while pregnant, which I actually think helped me avoid gestational diabetes. After adjusting to life with a new baby, finding a rhythm, and moving house, I was ready to really get into it. I went full on keto.
I was excited about it. I was eating well, feeling well, cooking new and delicious foods (maternity leave gives you time to do this type of stuff), and I was singing keto’s praises to my whole family. My brother and his wife even hopped on the train with me…until they found out they were pregnant again, and momma’s only craving was Jack In The Box monster tacos 🙄 That aside, I stuck to it. From April to October or November, I managed to lose 67lbs from my highest weight. The day I went into labor, I was 260lbs. Spare the, “But you were pregnant!” comment. My weight before becoming pregnant was 247. Yup. I only gained 13lbs my entire pregnancy! I got myself down to 193.7 in that 6-7 month time, and I thought it was amazing!
I’m not sure what triggered it, but I fell off that wagon hard, and never found my way back. I mean, I tried to get back to it a few times over the last couple of months, but the motivation just hasn’t been there…until now. I weighed myself the other day to find that I had gained a whopping 27lbs! I’m back up over 200lbs, my clothes are fitting a little too tightly, and I am always feeling tired. Why would I do this disservice to myself?
I have to up the ante. I know there are so many people putting their journeys out there on Instagram and YouTube, and I’m joining the ranks. I’m hoping that being so blatantly out there will keep me motivated and accountable. It’s worth a shot, if it results in a healthier and happier me, right??
So here’s me, in all my glory, giving this a go.
My A-HA moment:
An Introduction To Me: